“If you don’t ask, you don’t get!”
-Mahatma Gandhi
One of the most powerful and simple strategies you can employ in life can be distilled down to a three-letter word: ask!
In writing my first book, I have learned the importance of asking for advice, support, feedback, and much more. Asking is the most direct way to get whatever you want or need.
Unfortunately, most people are afraid to ask, primarily because they fear rejection or hearing the word “no.” But by not asking for what you want, you are choosing to deny yourself the opportunity to access it. An important part of achieving your goals—especially when you are doing something you’ve never done before– is being able to ask for help.
I started to take inventory of what I asked for, as it relates to writing, publishing, and promoting my book, The Music of Your Heart:
- I asked Jack Canfield if he would provide the Foreword. He said yes.
- I asked several people to read my book and give me feedback. Most said yes and gave me great feedback.
- I asked for endorsements of my book. I also asked people to make some introductions so I might receive endorsements from people I did not know.
- I asked for offers of bonus gifts that I could give away to people who purchased my book. Several people said yes.
- I asked for names of graphic designers who could create my book cover and interior graphics, and I received great recommendations.
- I asked for advice on printers and fulfillment houses that could help me with the printing and distribution of my book, and I was given some great recommendations.
- I asked several friends if they would help me with the lyrics for my song, and I got suggestions from all of them.
- I asked my composer friend if he would write my song, and he said yes.
- I asked Google for information about recording studios in Chicago that could record my song, and I found a great one.
- I asked for advice on how to promote my book and I received very helpful suggestions.
I’ve learned that most successful people want to help others. That’s how they became successful! They are flattered to be asked for help, and often they will say yes if the request is reasonable and is something they can do.
Expressing gratitude is also very important. I am grateful for so much of the support I received along my journey to write this book. Although this is not a complete list, I am grateful for these people and their contributions, all of which started with a simple request for help:
- In 2007, Jack Canfield provided the inspiration that culminated in the writing of my book. (My next blog will tell the story behind my book.) Jack also said yes to my request that he provide the Foreword.
- I shared my book draft with friends, family and colleagues, who gave me wonderful feedback that helped me make it even better.
- Not only did I receive some great testimonials from people I asked, but Tony Rubleski, Dave Sheffield, Steve Taubman, and Celine Egan shared my book with their network of professional contacts and requested that they provide an endorsement. As a result, many of the testimonials printed in the front of my book are from people I did not previously know, who were kind enough to read my book and provide an endorsement.
- Tony Rubleski, Dave Sheffield, and John Milton Fogg offered bonus gifts to give away to people who purchased my book. They also made recommendations for graphic designers, printers, and fulfillment houses that could help me with the printing and distribution of my book.
- Olguita Torrens, Liz Garza, Doug Paauw and Kevin Cole helped me with the lyrics for my song.
- Kevin Cole composed my song.
If you are not asking for what you want, what’s stopping you? Here are three questions to ask yourself to identify what will help you get what you want:
- What information do I need? Who or what could provide this information for me? This could be a person, publication, something on the Internet, etc.
- What assistance do I need? Who or what could provide this assistance?
- What resources do I need? This could be time, money, a referral or endorsement, or support.
“Wherever we’re going, we all need the help of others to get there.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you need.”
–Harvey Mackay




